they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It's official drugs can't kill me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
