tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
