my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
