In the future we'll all be gay
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
