White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
