uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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