Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She's the barista slut.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
