Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
