I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
