theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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