every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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