Pappa wants mamma naked
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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