yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
