Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
