Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
they're like a gay fantastic four
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
