Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
