just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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