I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
