he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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