Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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