i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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