I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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