i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
