Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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