I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
