I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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