Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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