I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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