How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
