Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
