She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
