I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
