Say something about gay babies.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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