If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
