i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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