Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Sober January is a disaster.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
