She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
