So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
