So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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