Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
