How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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