Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
