You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
