Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize