id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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