She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
