its not stalking. its research.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
