3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
