OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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