I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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