You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
