ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
