i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Do vagina's smell?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
