its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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