I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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