my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
