ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
